Board Thread:Fun and Games/@comment-25744472-20160704002445/@comment-17259909-20170917031317

Pigzillion wrote: Could you not integrate the technology into your hunt like the Predator? If I could limit it to only the experienced and seasoned Dinos, then sure.

Jaadowgg wrote: What if you used the technology to catch the prey while also using it to train the younger Dinos? Like, send out a previously-non-defunct beta-model (as an example) to catch prey while the younger ones observe how it is done? Dinos are born with innate hunting skills; experience is what improves them.

OnePieceNation wrote: Aren't all dinotaurs inherently lazy? For I still see no review buddy lol Well, this Dino is. I will create a list of points since your story is quite long, and it will be compiled over the course of several days. For now...


 * Sometimes you use incorrect grammar or punctuation. I noticed you lack necessary commas, or you used too many commas such that it created comma-splice problems.
 * e.g. "But the guards didn’t care, the coming autumn feast for them was just an excuse to drink and drink they did. Last year there had been rumours of war, so there was increased security but this year the hegemony ruled supreme once again." should be "But the guards didn’t care; the coming autumn feast for them was just an excuse to drink. And drink they did. Last year, there had been rumours of war, so there was increased security. But this year, the hegemony ruled supreme once again."


 * I think you ought to include a flashback of the protagonist's experiences mining to further illustrate the brutality of his conditions.